SUFFERING INTO GOLD

Remember the "Secret"- the movie that took the western world by storm about a year ago?  Remember how much you loved or hated it?  There was something about it that captured my attention, that's for sure.  Frankly, I thought that the movie itself was a real stinker, that the grandiose and mercenary representation of people wishing for stuff, bordered on the neurotic, but deeper within, this notion of such a Law operating as an essential guiding principle, has sustained my attention.

Following that opening, my curiosity began to rise eventually focusing on what seems to me to be the critical piece of the puzzle - the "Point of Attraction" where the gratitude that drives prayer and the awareness to realize it, coincide.  Following, is some of what has come forth while hanging in there with the contemplation.

THE PRAYER SEQUENCE

OR.

SHARPENING THE POINT OF ATTRACTION

Acknowledge Suffering: We consider that, somewhere just within, if not on our very surface, we are suffering to one degree or another.  With little effort, and despite the fact that many of us "look quite good" to the world at large, we have to admit that many of our sufferings may arise from long-held desires that have gone unfulfilled.  "Why won't this thing I want so much come into my life?" or, "Why won't this thing I hate so much leave my life?"  Acknowledging this suffering, a question arises:  "Why won't this suffering cease?"

Preliminary Acceptance of Powerlessness: Conditionally acknowledge apparent inability to change - "OK, I will try this on for the moment . . ."

Engage Curiosity:  Realizing that curiosity is a powerful human instinct, we choose to employ it as we look towards the the conditions of our suffering.

Identify Dilemma:  Realize that we "wish," "want," or "desire" a specific change in our lives - either by attracting something into our lives, (or the life of another) or becoming free from something that we seem unable to set aside by pure force of will.

Write Preliminary Gratitude List:  Recognizing that part of our suffering comes from a sense of powerlessness about our situation and the negative self-image that accompanies it, we agree to seek a temporary change in this attitude "artificially" inducing a change by first identifying all things for which we are grateful.  Grandiosity is permtted here.

Contemplate Gratitude List:  Consider the impact in our lives from all things for which we are grateful.

Become Grateful as Best We Can in the Moment:  Focus on accumulating a sense of gratitude by imagining what it would feel like to be relieved of the suffering associated with our inability to change or be changed.

With Gratitude, Pray for Willingness to Accept Dilemma:  Recognizing that our will is weak or lacking in this area, we ask God for help to accept that this dilemma actually exists in our lives.

Accept Dilemma:  Becoming willing, we accept the specific dilemma as "ours" and ours alone.

Acknowledge Desire for Specific Change:  Admit that we truly desire a change in our "situation."

State Desire:  Write down this preliminary wish.

Foster Allowance:  Consciously permit ourselves to open to self-allowance.  Here we recognize that we may be blocking our own desires by refusing to "permit" them to change because our current situation, though difficult to live with, is familiar and therefore perversely "safe."

Recognize Choice/Decision:  Choose to proceed.  This choice may be the first time in many of our lives that we have taken a deeply proactive step.  The power of this moment is not to be taken lightly.  If in doubt, review all the previous steps and again, pray for the willingness to proceed as fearlessly as possible.

Form Preliminary Intention: ie, I intend to be relieved of suffering from this dilemma.

Re-Engage Curiosity:  Become curious as to our motivations for change and the imaginings of what our lives might be like if the change were to occur.

Examine Motivations to Change:  Here, we look within inquiring of ourselves as to the reasons why we want to change while admitting and acknowledging that there will be both high-end and low-end motivations.

Accept Motivations to Change:  Here, it is critical that we proceed with full acceptance of both high and low end motivations.  This complete acceptance is fundamental to support the acknowledgment of our "suffering."

Contemplate Honesty:  What does it mean to be rigorously honest?  If I am in doubt, I will get help to make this determination.  Such honesty is fundamental to the amount of benefit that will derive from this work.

Commit to Rigorous Honesty:  Write down what it means to be rigorously honest and agree to cleave to it.

Inventory Storylines Associated with Desire:  Engage in self-inquiry as to our history associated with the desire to change.  Collect remembered evidence and subject it to fearless, honest appraisal.  Write down discoveries.

Request Help to Review Discoveries:  Discuss these discoveries with a trusted friend whom you are certain has your best interests in mind and will help you to consider the truth about what you have learned.  It is essential that this person's orientation be centered on helping you uncover your strengths and weaknesses and NOT try to analyze or "fix" you.

Become Willing to Accept Consequences:  Learning about the nature of our character defects and realizing that despite our strengths, we cannot change our character defects by force of will alone, we accept our powerlessness and unmanageability thereby taking full responsibility for the suffering in our lives as well as the consequences both positive and negative for our behaviors.

Become Willing to "Open" to Change: The action of "Opening" is difficult to describe but it involves a recognition that all previous "efforts" have not produced the desired results and, that by consciously relaxing the heart, mind and body by visiting each of these "places" with the most focused attention and awareness that we are capable of in the moment, that a sense of passive acceptance will arise.  This is "Opening," where we agree to receive and consider as selflessly as possible any thought or suggestion that might broaden our understanding of self.

Allowance:  Allowance is the step where we actively choose to invite whatever is on the "other side" of Openness to manifest within.  This is a self-permission step that seems like Openness, but I believe that it is slightly, and significantly different than openness.  Perhaps a way to look at it would be like Opening a window and standing there on guard vs opening a window and allowing whatever is out there to just come on in.

Open to Vulnerability:  Recognizing that we have opened and come to allowance, we confront the possibility that what might come may "hurt" or otherwise wound us when it makes its appearance.  As the window is opened, and we allow whatever is out there to come in, a wasp might appear and sting us.  Are we ok with that?  If we are, if we are willing to accept this consequence as a means to practice openness and allowance,  we are accepting and practicing vulnerability - the capability of being vulnerable to wounding without reacting pre-emptively.

Examine Self-Doubt:  Opening, Allowance, and Vulnerability will lead to an immediate rising of self-doubt.  "Can I do this?  What if this leads to de-stabilization of my personality?  What if I get lost in here?"  Fear rises with this self-doubt and the ego strains towards reaction and relief from fear in adrenalization.

Acknowledge and Accept Fear:  Prepared for the rise of fear, we recognize it and choose to experience it without resorting to reaction.  This will perhaps require revisiting the Gratitude list and a reminder that we have chosen to have this experience as well as a comparison between the pain of continued suffering against the fear of change.  We may also need support during this phase to help us stay present with the experience of fear.

Refresh Curiosity:  As we develop a sense of capability at staying present with fear, of maintaining an awareness that can see beyond the fear, including self-talk that "calms" our adrenals into reducing their activity, we remind ourselves of our inherent curiosity and agree to proceed with it.

Commit to Rigorous Honesty:  Curious again and comfortable as can be in the presence of the rise and fall of fear and self-doubt, we commit to proceeding with all the honesty that we can muster.

Seek Truth in Story:  Diving into the story line associated with the specific dilemma in our constellated sufferings, we look for the "what really happened" of it, for the actual drama that unfolded, not the way that we have chosen to remember it, but the way that it really was, warts and all - particularly the warts.  What was my part of this?  How have I sustained the resentments against the "other" for so long?  What lies have I told or what information have I ignored to sustain my faulty recall?

Accept Truth in Story:  Having identified the more truthful rendition of the story, we commit  to its acceptance whatever the consequences and choose to "remember" the story in this new way.  To secure this new remembrance, we right down the story "corrections."

Make Related Amends to Self and Others:  Having examined our stories, and uncovered what might be some startling truths about our behaviors that we had conveniently forgotten, we look to see how we might have wronged another by lying about them or holding them responsible for our long-lasting disease.  Having identified others as victims of our own lies and deferred responsibility, we seek guidance as to the nature of any amends we must make and make such amends except when to do so would injure them or others.

Rest in Self-Trust:  During the process of making amends, we provide rest for ourselves during this procedure focusing only on making the amends.

Continue Study:  Having made such amends, we contemplate our new state of being and begin to consider our new attitude as a foundation for articulating our desire for change.

Refresh Willingness:  Aware now of peace within the heart, we again pray for the willingness to clearly form an intention to change.  Recognizing the importance of acceptance of our powerlessness to change our situation with sheer force of will, we realize that the will to change must be reinforced by a power greater than ourselves.

Form Evolved Intention:  We focus on the exact nature of the change that we wish to see manifest in our live.  The development of intention, informed deeply by the process above is the heart of the prayer, is the actualization of our wish for change.  The importance of intention is impossible to overstate.  No single part of this process is more important than this step.  "My intention is to attract "x" into my life and to be willing to do whatever it takes to manifest it."

Visualize Intention (Desire, Wish):  Here, we call to mind the intention in visual form, creating a picture of what it would look like if the wish were to be fulfilled.  Detail is important.  For instance, if we wish to be free from the desire to smoke, what would that look like?  Imagine a moment, when, in the past, you would smoke every time.  Imagine such a moment, after dinner perhaps, when you would ordinarily go to the porch for a cigarette.  Instead, you go to the porch and look off into the sunset, breathing deeply, grateful that you no longer have the desire to smoke, that your lungs feel healthy as you breathe deeply, that your mind is clear and free from the annoyance of wanting to smoke and that your hands are free to run through your hair, that your companion is talking to you softly, reminiscing about the day and the joy of the meal together.  "It is my intention to attract this experience into my life and to do whatever it takes to sustain it."

Write It Down:  Write down the wish and intention.  "I wish to be free of my addiction to nicotine."  "My intention is to pray for the willingness to quit and, becoming so willing, do whatever it takes to stop smoking."

Refresh Gratitude:  Again, remind ourselves of how grateful we feel for all the blessings in our lives.  Allow this gratitude to rise until we are filled with the joy of a life so blessed.

Pray:  Offer Visualized Desire with Gratitude:  In this state of gratitude, we offer this prayer for wish-fulfillment to God while reminding ourselves that we are really only praying for the knowledge of God's will for us around our desire - not specifically that the wish be granted.

Surrender Prayer/Vision/Desire to God's Will (Burn Prayer Sheet):  Having so offered the prayer to God, we burn the sheet upon which we have written both the desire and the intention.  In this way, the desire is released and we can proceed with the expectation that God, in His time, and in His fashion, will let us know what his will for us is about the desire.  We may expect that such knowledge will come in a way that we know is directly from God.  As we have many desires that relate to wishes to be free from the negative consequences of character defects, it is suggested that we first pray for these defects to be removed.  So doing, we may gain a much better perspective on what is important regarding "things" that we may wish to be attracted into our lives.

Act in Faith and Agree to Share this Process with Anyone Open to It:  Having released the prayer and burned the writing to signify our release of the desire, we proceed into action by resting in faith that our next step is to be characterized by patience, allowance, willingness, vigilance and discrimination.

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